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Oh God, the World’s Still Falling Apart

Okay, now I’ve been pretty hard in the past on both sides of the India/Pakistan conflict, which is why I have to be a little congratulatory in noting that Pakistan has taken a commanding lead in the “Who’s the Bigger Fuckstick” pissing match between the two nations.  I mean, first a bunch of Pakistani nationals sail from Pakistan on a ship which may or may not have ties to the Pakistani navy and, using hand grenades and automatic weapons that just may have come from Pakistan, go and shoot up one of the largest cities in India.

Pakistan, of course, denies all involvement.  You’ll have to excuse that alarm klaxon, that’s just the overload warning on my bullshit detector.  I guess I’m not the only one, because India, the US, and pretty much every country in the “League of Nations Who Aren’t Pakistan” have both been demanding Pakistan comply with the investigation into the bloodshed in Mumbai.  Pakistan, keeping up with its history of being a level-headed, easy-going nation, has responded by mobilizing its Army and moving even more troops to its border with India.  The reason?  To guard against “misadventures from India.”  I’m pretty sure that, in this context, “misadventures from India” is a euphamism for “India getting all up in our grill and starting shit”.  Which is funny, because I’m at a bit of a loss as to how 209 dead and over 700 injured doesn’t qualify as “starting shit.”

But hey, at least India and Pakistan are, like, the other side of the globe and it’ll just be a limited conflict, right?  Well sure.  Except for the part where Pakistan’s got backing from China, India has backing from the US, and all sides are strapping up for all out war.

In other news in international denialism, a few months ago, a motorcade containing president Shaakashvili of Georgia and president Kaczynski of Poland was fired upon.  Thankfully, neither of the two best-named leaders in the world were injured.  Now, naturally, more than a few eyes in the international community turned towards Russia with a knowing, meaningful look.  Russia’s response?  “What?  That wasn’t us.  Crazy bastards probably shot at themselves!”  I’m paraphrasing, of course, but not by much.

But hey, at least things in Afghanistan are going well, right?  What with the Taliban airing threats in national radio and print media that they’ll blow up all women’s schools if they aren’t closed by January 15th.  Ah Taliban: you guys stay classy!  Nothing says “strong, wise, reasonable leaders of a great nation” quite like threatening school girls.

And that’s, of course, not even getting into the continuing Israel/Iran/Everyone-Else-in-the-Middle-East thing.  Or Russia re-applying for its old job as arms dealers for the world’s most thuggish Fascist assholes.  So now if you’ll excuse me, I think I’m going to go crack open a bottle of Jameson’s and drink until the world seems like a sane place again . . .

Posted in Politics.